RED CUP
Play by Mikhail Durnenkov
Translated by Daria Parkhomenko
Literature adapted by Nick Drake
Director by Deborah Warner
Music by Cynthia Hopkins
First polar scientist – Iris Häussler
Second polar scientist – Bob Davies
Fake Bear – Dr. Simon Boxall
Polar scientists’ hut. A table, two chairs, several cupboards, a bed (only one). View from the window: everything is white. Two polar scientists dressed in thick roll-neck sweaters, bearded, and drinking coffee with great enjoyment.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (with enthusiasm). So… shall we get on with it?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST (with laziness). No, let’s have another cup.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. No. It’s time to get going. (He stands up). We’ve got a lot to get done today…
He gets dressed vigorously in heavy winter coat, mittens, he takes some strange gadgets, opens the door. Clouds of freezing air enter the hut. The face of a big Polar bear appears at the open door. The first scientist slams the door, and just as vigorously as he got dressed, he takes off his outfit and sits at the table opposite the second polar scientist.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. You’re right. Let’s have another cup –
They drink coffee with relish, again.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (ecstatically) “Such a wonderful way to start each day!”
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Oh yes! Mmm….
The advertising jingle plays. 1 scientist stands up and pours coffee from the cup into the waste bin near the door.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I hate this.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. What?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I just hate this. You know? I absolutely hate it, hate it, hate it.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. What’s got into you?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Everything! This place, these bears, this music, this coffee, this nonsense all the time. I can’t stand it any more! When will it be over? Hmm?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Do you remember the moment when everything started? When you realized you existed?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (with irritation) No I don’t remember. This situation can’t go on forever.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Why not?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I’m going crazy.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. I’ve thought about this. There’s no need to go crazy. That’s not part of the script. Did you open these cupboards?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. No.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Me neither. And do you know why?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Why?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Because these cupboards are made from veneer. They’re fake. They aren’t made to store, you know… all kinds of different – bottles, and stuff…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Gadgets?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Exactly, “gadgets”. Going mad isn’t in the script…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (hysterically). So what is?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Ah well, I’ve thought about that! And I’ve had a great idea.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Really?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. You and me, we’re going to escape. You’re absolutely right, we can’t sit here stuck on our arses all our life. Right?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. But how can we escape? Where could we go? Every time I open the door, there’s a polar bear outside. (Then like child:) I just can’t get used to him being there…
DOOR BLOWS OPEN – WE SEE THE BEAR – DOOR BLOWS SHUT
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. That’s OK, that’s exactly how you should react. And according to my character I should be the thinker.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I think according to your character you’re just a bit slow.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Yeah right, slow or not slow, I’ve had an idea.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (impatiently). Fine, tell me.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. It’s really simple…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (interrupting him). Wait…
The jingle starts again…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST Oh shit it’s started again…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Christ almighty – Sit down.
When the jingle has finished:
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. So tell me –
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. I know exactly how can we escape. I mean – from all of this.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. But – what about the bear?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. There’s only one bear and two of us.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. No way!
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. If we run in different directions…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Not a chance –
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. He’d only run after one of us…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Not a chance! I’m not doing that…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Fine, then we’ll be stuck here forever.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (depressed). Forever…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Get it now?
Pause.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. He’ll chase after me, because he knows me. He knows me and he really – really hates me.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. That’s just your character’s fear. Who knows – maybe he likes me more. And I’m slower than you are. You know what I mean.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Ok. So when?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Now. Before it starts again.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I can’t drink this crap any more.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. OK then, are you ready?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I’m afraid… Ok, I know, I know!
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Let’s get dressed.
Silently they get dressed. They go to the door.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Listen, I’ve no one special in my life just now…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. (puts a hand on his shoulder). Sure, and if I offended you or did something wrong… I’m really sorry…
They hug each other.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I’m not gay, you know –
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. I know.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. There’s only one bed… I thought maybe you got the wrong idea…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Of course not. But I could cut the head off whoever’s responsible for all this shit –
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I think I’m going to cry …
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Ok. On the count of three.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. One.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Two.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Three.
The door slams open and thick freezing fog enters the hut. They exit. A long, long pause.
Then the door opens again. First polar scientist enters.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (monotonously). My tears have frozen. They’re icicles.
He slowly undresses. He lies on the bed. The second polar scientist enters. He has a pole with the head of the polar bear stuck on the end. He puts the pole in the corner near the bin and lies on the bed next to the first polar scientist.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Everything is unreal. The whole world is fake. Cotton wool, cardboard, paper, cardboard…. white paper…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Shut up!
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. 10 meters and that’s it. There is no real world. Only cardboard…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Stop. Let’s think about what to do now. Here.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (melancholically). Where’s here?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Hmm… that is the question. Well, “here”.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (melancholically). When you say “here” what do you mean?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Nowhere! But we exist! It doesn’t matter if nothing else exists, we exist!
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Prove it!
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Prove what?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Prove we exist.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST (confused). Hmm, how can I explain it… This is you, and this is me…
I am thinking, I see everything around me, cogito therefore I am. Hence, I exist.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. You are certainly the most intelligent person here and everything, but can you explain to me, if everything around us is fake, why should we be real? This is not logical.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Are you crazy?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I feel very lonely, because I am the only real person here. And I am absolutely sure of that.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Have you really gone crazy now?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Your reaction as just like the snow behind the window – predictable and artificial.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. You’re such a….
He gets up and wants to say something. With a dismissive gesture he sits back down at the table.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. It’s a pity. It’s a real pity. You’re real and I’m not, is that what you mean? Fuck off….
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I would be happy to fuck off, but there’s nowhere to fuck off to…
The Second polar scientist turns away behind the other’s back. For some time they are both silent.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. And everything I’m doing…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (interrupting). Everything you’re doing is made from cardboard, all your reactions and every single word you say. I can say all your lines instead of you.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. But how can I prove I’m a real man, not a …. Polar scientist?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (shrug). Not a snowball’s chance in hell.
Pause.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Stand up.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. What for?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Stand up, stand up…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. (getting up). So?
The Second polar scientist slaps the face of the first.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. What did you do that for?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Because I decided to. It’s not your decision.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (nursing his cheek). Actually it is…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Can we stop the discussion about whether I’m real or not?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (fearfully). Yes … of course…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Terrific! Let’s think about what can we do now. Let’s try to come up with something.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. But what? The least you could do is invent a name for yourself…
What’s your name?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Don’t fuck around –
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Do you know my name?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. (patiently). No. Tell me.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. “The Sparkle of Electric Light Coming from the Snowflake Melting on Eyelashes”.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. This name does not exist.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. So what does exist?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Hmmm…. Who knows!
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Ah ha! My name describes me totally.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Listen, Snowflake….
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. The Sparkle of Electric Light…
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Ok, Ok, Melted and everything. Whatever. This isn’t the answer…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. You are the cleverest man here, so think. I don’t have a brain, I don’t have anything except my name. Nothing.
Pause.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST (carefully). Hey. Do you feel better now?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. What d’you mean?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Since you found your name, do you feel better?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (like listening to something). It helps to make sense of things. I’ve feel like I’ve got my feet on the ground now.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. I see.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. And what is it you’ve finally understood?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. That there’s no sense in what we’re doing here.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. But where does all this come from then?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. We’re responsible for whether this makes sense of not. Let suppose – what time is it now?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Some time in the afternoon?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. It always is. At different time intervals we have to repeat the same totally meaningless things.
But we could do something different…
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. We can’t do that!
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. We could… pray.
Pause.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Really?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Yes. It’s simple.
Pause.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Do you know your name?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. No. What’s my name?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Warm Hand Melts Frost from Window.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Are you serious?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Yes, this is about you.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. So why it’s so short?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. How long should a name be?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. Can you feel it? It’s starting again.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Yes.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST (triumphantly). Shall we?
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. Wait, I’ll put the head of the bear in its place.
Taking the pole with him he goes out of the room for several seconds, returns and sits at the table.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. I believe in you, Sparkle of Electric Light coming from the Snowflake Melting on Eyelashes.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. I won’t betray you Warm Hand Melting the frost.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (with enthusiasm). So… shall we get on with it?
2 POLAR SCIENTIST (with laziness). No, let’s have another cup.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. No. It’s time to get going. (He stands up). We’ve got a lot to get done today…
He gets dressed vigorously in heavy winter coat, mittens, he takes some strange gadgets, opens the door. Clouds of freezing air enter the hut. The face of a big Polar bear appears at the open door. The first scientist slams the door, and just as vigorously as he got dressed, he takes off his outfit and sits at the table opposite the second polar scientist.
2 POLAR SCIENTIST. You’re right.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST (with laziness). So, let’s have another cup.
They drink coffee with great enjoyment.
1 POLAR SCIENTIST. … “Such a wonderful way to start the day!”
END
